Lessons From My Solo Retreat
Exploring the clarity that comes from being alone—and the connection we need when we return.
Every year, I try to give myself the same gift: a few days entirely on my own. No meetings. No deadlines. No expectations. Just space to look back on the year that’s passed and look ahead to the one coming.
This year, I chose Zion National Park—a place that feels like stepping into another planet, where red rock walls rise like cathedrals and you can hear your own thoughts again.
Before I left, I set three simple rules:
Rule #1: Limited digital.
No social media. No email. Minimal texting. My phone was there solely for trail maps and the occasional photo. Everything else went dark.
Rule #2: Spend as much time outdoors as possible.
Zion makes this easy. When I’m outside, something clicks into place—creativity, clarity, curiosity. Being on a trail is the quickest path back to my best thinking.
Rule #3: Make it truly solo.
No coordinating schedules. No conversations to manage. Just me, nature, and whatever showed up.
With those boundaries in place, I carried in the three themes that define Rivr Notes—leadership, performance, and wellness—and sat with what the past 12 months had really meant.
Leadership: Three Decisions That Mattered
Every year as part of my own leadership practice, I ask myself a simple question: What decisions am I proud of? Not the easiest ones, but the ones that feel true.
This year, three stood out.
1. Shutting down one of my businesses
I’ve written about this before, but it remains one of the hardest professional decisions I’ve made. My company, Exit Pathways, was built to help business owners navigate the sale of their companies. It was meaningful work, and I genuinely enjoyed helping the clients I did.
But in the larger picture of what I’m building now, it didn’t rise to the top. And when everything feels important, nothing actually is. Stepping away was the right decision—difficult, but right.
2. Launching the Midlife Circus podcast
If shutting down a business required courage, launching Midlife Circus required joy.
Creating this show with my good friend Rob has been energizing in every possible way—creative, collaborative, community-building. We are having more fun than two midlife guys probably should, and somehow it keeps getting better.
It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.
3. Sharing my experience with loneliness
On one of our recent podcast episodes, we talked openly about navigating loneliness in midlife. For most of my life, I’ve kept my internal world pretty private. Talking about the harder parts—especially aloud, and with an audience—wasn’t something I did much of.
But this topic deserved daylight. And being honest about the isolation that can come with reinvention has been powerful for me. It’s helped me feel more grounded, more connected, and more human.
Performance: What I Learned About Capability
Performance is a theme I revisit constantly—not as a measure of achievement, but as a reminder of what’s possible.
This year delivered three standout moments.
1. Supporting a friend at the Cocodona 250
If you’ve never watched people voluntarily run 250 miles across the desert, let me say this: humans are capable of extraordinary things.
I joined Rob as part of his crew and paced him for about 50 miles. Watching him—and everyone out there—push through rain, snow, sun, darkness, elevation, doubt, and exhaustion was humbling.
It’s one thing to know endurance is mental. It’s another to watch someone live it.
2. Completing my first XTERRA Off-Road Triathlon
This goal was more than a decade old. I’d talked about it, considered it, postponed it, and finally—this year—committed to it.
It was hard. It was messy. It was an absolute blast.
But what made it unforgettable was doing it with my brother. Camping together, racing together, laughing at ourselves together—those are memories I’ll keep for a long time.
3. Running the Moab Trail Half Marathon faster than my younger self
I ran the same race a few years ago and assumed my “speed” days were behind me. Turns out, maybe not.
This year I was faster, stronger, and—most importantly—more present.
There’s something incredibly satisfying about proving your own limiting beliefs wrong.
Wellness: What Filled Me Up This Year
When I think about wellness, I think about what replenishes me. What steadies me. What reminds me of who I am.
Three things stood out.
1. Community and connection
This year was filled with adventures—surf camp in Costa Rica with my family, trail runs with friends, shared experiences that stitched together a sense of belonging.
If the past few years have taught me anything, it’s this: my wellness is tied to the people I spend time with. And this year, those people made life richer.
2. Sleep as a superpower
I’ve been focused on improving my sleep for several years, but something clicked this year. My sleep quality has been the best of my life, which has lifted everything else—energy, focus, performance, and mood.
For me, sleep is a leading indicator of my health and my leadership. And right now, that indicator is trending up.
3. Talking openly about loneliness
This was an important step in my wellness journey. Sharing something I’d kept private for so long felt like removing a stone from my backpack. Lighter. Freer. Healthier.
Sometimes wellness looks like a cold plunge or a run. Sometimes it looks like saying the thing you’ve never said.
And as I reflected on all of that—on the people in my life, the adventures, the growth—it brought me to a realization worth naming:
Solitude and loneliness are not the same.
It may seem paradoxical that I love going on multi-day solo retreats and also spoke openly this year about feeling lonely. But they live in completely different places.
Solitude is intentional. It’s energizing, restorative, and creative.
Loneliness is unintentional—a signal that connection feels distant.
This solo retreat reminded me that I need both in the right balance: space to reflect and people to walk alongside me.
With that clarity, I could finally talk about loneliness without feeling like it contradicted my love of being alone. In fact, it made both experiences feel more meaningful.
Looking Ahead: The Road From Zion
While I spent time reflecting on the past year, most of my retreat was focused forward.
The future feels exciting—full of meaningful projects, good people, new events, and big adventures. I’m heading back to Costa Rica next year with an even larger group of friends and family. Rob and I have huge plans for Midlife Circus. And I have personal quests lined up that stretch me in all the right ways.
Being alone in Zion gave me something rare: perspective without noise.
And what became clear is this—between leadership, performance, and wellness, there is so much room for growth. So much opportunity. So much possibility.
The Case for Your Own Retreat
If you’ve never taken a solo retreat, here’s my encouragement: try it.
It doesn’t have to be days in a national park. It can be an afternoon with a journal. A Saturday hike. A few hours at a coffee shop. What matters is stepping out of the current long enough to see your life from the shoreline.
I always return feeling clearer, calmer, and a little more aligned with who I want to be.
And this year, Zion gave me exactly what I needed.
See you soon,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
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New to Rivr Notes? This is my newsletter offering practical insights and fresh ideas on leadership, performance, and wellness. Whether you’re making big decisions, leading a team, or simply striving to improve, Rivr Notes is here to help you think differently and take action.
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