The 24-Hour Rule
This week’s Rivr Notes is about setbacks, perspective, and the quiet discipline of moving on.
Setbacks show up uninvited. Professionally—missed promotions, failed projects, jobs that never materialize. Personally—in our health, relationships, or those moments when life takes an unexpected left turn.
And when setbacks hit, it's easy to get stuck. To dwell. To stay down longer than we need to. That’s where something I lean on often comes into play: The 24-Hour Rule.
I didn’t invent this idea, but I’ve used it time and time again to help move forward when things don’t go as planned. The idea is simple: When something tough happens, give yourself 24 hours to feel it. Be frustrated. Be angry. Cry. Shout. Stomp around. Do what you need to do—safely. But when that 24-hour clock runs out, it’s time to start moving forward. Not necessarily fast, but forward.
Why It Matters
Because staying stuck is seductive. That "Why me?" mindset can settle in and take root quickly. And the longer we sit in that space, the harder it becomes to climb out. You start carrying that heaviness into the next opportunity, the next conversation, the next version of yourself—and none of that is helpful.
The 24-Hour Rule is about giving yourself time to feel, without letting the setback define your next steps.
A Professional Setback (and an Unexpected Outcome)
Right out of college, I had a clear path in mind. Like many of my friends, I applied to several big consulting firms, hoping to follow what felt like the "right" career track. But one rejection followed another. And then another.
Each rejection stung. It was hard not to compare myself to friends who were getting those offers. But I knew—thanks in large part to the wisdom passed down from my dad—that staying stuck in that self-pity loop would only slow me down. No one wants to hire the person who’s carrying rejection like a backpack. People respond to energy, to confidence, to positivity.
So I stayed focused. I didn’t let those rejections derail me. And I ended up landing a job with General Electric—one of the top companies in the world at the time. GE wasn’t just known for developing leaders—it was known for stretching them with real challenges. It was an environment I thrived in. I was really fortunate to have found a role that matched my drive and curiosity at that moment in my career.
And, ironically, a few years later, I was recruited by a large, well-respected consulting firm. So the path looped around anyway—just not in the way I expected.
A Personal Setback (and a Shift in Focus)
Then there was the time a few years ago when I wrecked my mountain bike. Badly. My shoulder took the brunt of it, and I was sidelined for a while—no golf for over a year, and many other favorite activities were off the table too.
That one hurt—not just physically, but mentally. I love being active. Movement is how I recharge, how I connect with the world around me. Losing that felt like losing part of my identity.
I turned again to the 24-Hour Rule. Let myself feel the frustration, the loss of what I couldn’t do. But then I pivoted. I focused on what I could do—things that didn’t require a perfectly functioning shoulder. I shifted my energy toward progress, not perfection.
And the truth is, I learned a lot through that process. Being active comes with risks. Sometimes things don’t go the way we plan. But there’s always something we can do—always a path forward, even if it’s not the one we expected.
Finding the Lesson and Letting Go
What makes the 24-Hour Rule so powerful isn’t just that it gives us a boundary on frustration—it’s that it carves out space for reflection. That time is for feeling, yes. But also for thinking. What went wrong? What could I learn? What does this moment make possible that I couldn’t see before?
It’s not about pretending the setback didn’t happen. It’s about honoring it, learning from it, and then refusing to let it define what comes next.
We all face those moments. Maybe you didn’t land the job. Maybe a prospective client decided to go in a different direction. Maybe the project didn’t work out, or the conversation with a friend turned into a conflict instead of a connection. Whatever the case, setbacks will keep showing up. What matters is how we respond.
The 24-Hour Rule is a framework. Not a formula. Not a magic trick. Just a mindset that says: I’ll give this thing the time it needs—but not more than it deserves.
Now, let’s be honest—some setbacks are bigger than a single day can contain. Losing a loved one, enduring a major life upheaval, processing a deep betrayal—these things don’t resolve in 24 hours. And they shouldn’t. Pain needs space. Grief takes time. But even then, the 24-Hour Rule still applies in spirit. It’s not about rushing through the hard stuff. It’s about giving yourself permission to feel while also setting a gentle but intentional signal: I won’t stay stuck here forever.
The clock doesn’t have to be exact. Maybe it’s 48 hours. Maybe it’s a week. But there should come a moment when you begin to shift your gaze forward. Maybe it’s just one small step. Or a single thought: “Okay, what now?”
That’s the real heart of the rule: forward motion. Not ignoring the setback, but refusing to let it anchor you.
Onward.
See you next week,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
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