The Hidden Cost of Everything
This week’s Rivr Notes is about the unseen effort behind the life we think we want.
When I was growing up, I had a relative who, to me, had everything. There was a sprawling estate, an amazing home near the beach, and a beautiful lake house. Vintage cars, classic boats, and a dedicated team helped keep all these treasures in perfect shape. As a family, we were often the lucky benefactors of their incredible lifestyle, spending several of our vacations enjoying everything those places had to offer.
To my younger self, it was paradise. And I couldn’t help but dream of creating a similar life for myself one day.
What I didn’t see at the time—what none of us kids saw—was what was happening behind the scenes. I didn’t see the 20-hour workdays it took to build and sustain that life. I didn’t see the strain it placed on family relationships. I didn’t see the challenges of leading businesses, or the constant sacrifices made to keep everything afloat. As a child, I saw the beauty, the fun, the highlights. But I was sheltered from the cost—the very real, often heavy price of maintaining it all.
I remember a conversation with my dad that helped me start to understand what lay beneath the surface. I was a year or two away from graduating from college, and we were headed to a football game. We took the bus—about an hour-long ride—and I spent that time sharing my vision for the future.
“I want a beautiful home,” I said. “A vacation place on the beach, a cabin on a lake, and some cool cars.” I kept going—the dream life I imagined, inspired by what I’d grown up around.
My dad just listened, asking, “What else?” as I went on. I was full of excitement about starting my career and eager to make those dreams real.
When I finally finished, he nodded thoughtfully. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s talk about what it actually takes to have all that.”
He started with the obvious costs. “Take the lake house, for example,” he said. “You see the incredible amenities—the house, the boats, all the fun toys. But every one of those things needs care and maintenance to keep it running smoothly. It’s not just the house—it’s everything that comes with it.”
Then he shifted gears. “But let’s go deeper. There’s a hidden cost that’s harder to see.”
That’s when the real lesson began.
He explained that beyond the price tag and upkeep, there’s the immense effort it takes to achieve and sustain that kind of life. The long hours. The constant attention. The stress of managing so much. And maybe most importantly, the impact it can have on relationships.
He didn’t get overly specific—he didn’t need to. But it was clear he’d witnessed plenty of struggle and sacrifice that we, as kids, had been sheltered from. “If you want to start a family,” he asked, “will you be there? Will you be present for the moments that matter? Or will the things you worked so hard to acquire pull you away?”
He wasn’t saying, “Don’t chase your dreams.” Far from it. His point was: understand what it really takes to make those dreams a reality. You can’t have only the highlights—the beautiful homes, the fun toys—without embracing the full commitment, complexity, and trade-offs that come with them.
It was wisdom—a reminder that what we see on the surface is rarely the whole story. Sometimes, when you look beneath, you find challenges, sacrifices, and demands you never imagined. And if you don’t consider the full cost, it’s easy to get caught chasing something without realizing what it truly requires.
So, as you reflect on your own dreams—whether they’re about building a business, owning that special getaway place, or achieving something deeply personal—go for it. But go in with your eyes wide open. The cost isn’t just in dollars—it’s in the energy, time, and dedication it takes to bring those dreams to life and to sustain them.
When you understand that, you can pursue your dreams with clarity, purpose, and confidence—choosing a path that leads not just to outward success, but to the kind of life that brings you lasting joy and fulfillment.
See you next week,
Brent, your Rivr Guide
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